The Mortal Queen
by CruelJane
Summary: This is a Cruel Prince fanfiction that takes place after The Wicked King. These are my thoughts on where Jude might be at when the third book picks up next year. Of course, everything belongs to the enchanting Holly Black.
1. One

Jude

I slowly open my bedroom door, willing myself to be as quiet as I can. I tip-toe out into the dark hallway and close the door behind me. My feet are silent on the cold wood floor as I make my way to the end of the hall. I hold my shoes in one hand, and a jacket in the other. Vivi and Oak are still sleeping and I don't particularly want to wake them up. It's Saturday and they'd both be annoyed at me for not letting them sleep in. I walk into the living room, lace my shoes up in the dark and slip my jacket on. I'm out the front door moments later.

As I make my way to the edge of the yard, I pull my hood up over my head. Spring is just beginning, and the air moving in and out of my lungs feels like ice. I take a deep breath and turn down the sidewalk, like I do every morning, and begin my run.

Vivi got tired of watching me sulk, and begged me, no— ordered me to find something to occupy my time, so I did. I've surprisingly found a few things in this mortal world that I don't hate so much, but this one is my favorite.

I quickly found that running allowed me to sulk and clear my head at the same time, which is why I chose to start my day like this, before the sun came up. This little ritual gave me time to let all my jumbled thoughts pour into my head while also getting some aggression out of my system. And let's be honest, that's just better for everyone.

The hood starts to slip from my head, and as my braided hair gently taps against my back as I move, I decide to push myself a little harder, going faster with every mile that passes. The wound on my leg has long since healed to the point that I can't feel it anymore when I run.

Before I know it, I've run farther and longer than I usually do. The sun is rising, casting dim light on my surroundings. Lovely. That means I'm forced to observe all the flowers and life emerging from the cold ground. Things that remind me too much of Cardan and the life I was forced to leave behind only months ago. A complicated puzzle with so many pieces I haven't been able to sort through. I'm breathing harder now, and sweating as all the rage and confusion begins to surface.

I begin my climb up the steepest hill in the city, slowing my pace a bit so I don't pass out before I reach the top. This is my favorite part of my run.

At the top of the hill there's an empty parking lot that's mostly used for all the commuting drivers carpooling to other nearby cities. It looks over part of the city, but at the other end of the parking lot it's mostly a cliff that backs up to the ocean, and is an overlook point for travelers passing through. I make my way across to the other side and sit down on a bench, where I can rest and let my thoughts run wild.

There is a gentle breeze, and the scent of the ocean dances through me loosening a few strands of hair from my braid. In the distance I can see a few fishing boats making their way back into the harbor, and as I watch them I think of the fishermen and how ordinary and free their lives must be. They've probably never been betrayed by those closest to them, and most likely never will be. I pick some rocks from the cold, bare ground and throw them as hard as I can into the ocean beyond.

I lean back on the bench and close my eyes as the cool ocean breeze kisses my face. Suddenly I can see Cardan's face and the odd grin he gave me upon sentencing me to exile. I can't unsee it, and I fear it's turning into an unhealthy obsession as I try to make sense of it. Then I can clearly hear him laughing at me with everyone else at the ridiculousness of my claiming to be the Queen of Faerie.

I open my eyes again and stare across the ocean, as if I can see into my old life, and my eyes start to burn with frustration and other emotions I don't understand. There are so many unanswered questions, and I have absolutely nobody to give me those answers.

I look down at my watch, and with a sigh I heave myself up from the bench. It's nearly eight o'clock, more than an hour later than I was planning on. I give my arms and legs a quick stretch, take a deep breath and begin the almost five-mile journey back to the house.

The sun begins to warm my face as I turn down the street that will lead me back to Vivi's house, and decide to sprint the last quarter mile. I slow down as the familiar yard comes into view, and when I finally reach the house, I bend over and put my hands on my knees to catch my breath.

Inside, Vivi has started making breakfast, and it smells so good I want to cry. As I make my way toward the kitchen, I dry my face with a towel, and I'm frozen when I bring the towel away from my face to see Heather standing over the stove flipping pancakes.

She turns my way and gives me a gentle smile. "Hi, Jude. Hope you're in the mood for pancakes." She flips the last ones onto a plate.

I don't know what to say, so of course I just stand there and say nothing, but I manage to smile back.

Heather walks over to the table and sets out all the food. I finally find my voice. "When did you— I mean, how are you here?"

She smiles at me again. "I just finally gave up trying to ignore your sister."

Just then, Vivi walks into the room, Oak trailing behind her. She looks me up and down. "Still doing that running thing?"

I roll my eyes and sigh. "It helps me clear my head." I say. I can feel sweat trickle down my face, so I dab at it with the towel.

"How many miles this time?" Passing me, she guides Oak to his spot at the table and sits down next to him.

"Twelve," I answer, "Three more than yesterday." I'm still slightly out of breath.

I walk over to Where Heather is seated next to Oak and hug her shoulders. "I'm glad you're here." She smiles and puts a hand on my arm. "Me too." She says.

Oak looks at me and gives me a disgusted look. "Jude, you stink! I can smell you all the way over here." Yeah, because I'm right next to you! I just roll my eyes, but I laugh too.

Vivi swallows a bite of her pancake and shrugs, then says, "You really do smell."

"Yeah, I get it." I say holding my hands up in surrender. "I'll happily go shower first and sacrifice fresh, hot food for the sake of keeping you all comfortable." I curtsy, then turn and walk away without giving them the chance to respond, but I can tell by the loud whispering that they're annoyed with me. Vivi is especially tired of my attitude.

I turn on the shower and head back into my room to get my change of clothes while I wait for the water to heat up. As I turn to leave I spot my ruby ring on the floor out of the corner of my eye. It's almost out of sight, just under my bed. I must have dropped it or thrown it the last time I bothered to look at it. I narrow my eyes. What are you looking at? You can just stay there for all I care.

In the bathroom the mirror and glass door of the shower are already foggy. I hang my clothes on the rack next to the door and walk over to the mirror. With a sigh I use my hand to clear some of the fog to take a long hard look at myself. My hair is stuck to the side of my face and my cheeks are still pink. What are you doing, Jude?

Vivi asked me a few days ago why I haven't been scheming to make everyone pay for what they did to me, but the truth is, I am honestly and whole-heartedly not sure where to start, or who deserves my wrath the most.

I look into the mirror again, but it has steamed up, so I step into the shower and let the hot water rush over my skin. I close my eyes and place my hands on the wall to hold myself up, and I just stay like that for a few minutes.

Cardan's face drifts into my thoughts again. This time we're in his room, and he's sliding my ruby ring onto my finger. The one he stole from me in the first place. That damn ring has haunted my dreams and thoughts nearly every day since I was dropped here.

Then, without being able to control my own thoughts, we're in his bed, tangled up in each other from exhaustion. We had just made our vows to each other and neither of us had rested much the night before. During the night he had awoken me with a tender kiss, his fingers trailing down my cheek. I held his hand in mine, pulling his arm around my waist, and drifted off to sleep again.

"I'd do anything to protect you, Jude." He had whispered into my ear.

My eyes flew open, and I spluttered as the water blurred my vision. I turned away from the spray of the shower and stood there in stunned silence, my heart racing. This is the first time I'd remembered him saying those words to me that night.

 **END OF CHAPTER ONE**

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	2. Two

Jude

My mind was reeling. I washed the conditioner from my hair and shut the shower off. Realization, or what I thought was realization, kept echoing in my head as I dried off and combed out my wet hair. "I'd do anything to protect you, Jude."

I could almost hear Cardan's voice as loudly and clearly as if he were standing next to me, his mouth moving against my ear, and his fingers gently caressing my neck.

I felt the heat rise to my face, embarrassed of my own thoughts, and equally just as frustrated. He exiled me, and it's clear this back-and-forth betrayal game we've been playing with each other will never end.

I grabbed my clothes from the towel rack and quickly threw them on. The steam swirled all around me, carrying with it the tropical scent of my shampoo and soap. Vivi will most likely kill me for how much hot water I just used up.

A loud knock sounded on the door, jolting me from my thoughts. "Hey! You done in there? Some of us still need to shower." Vivi yelled from the other side of the door.

"Yeah I'll be right out." I sighed. Vivi mumbled something as she walked away but I couldn't hear what she said. I glanced in the mirror one last time before stepping out into the hallway.

I dropped my dirty clothes in the basket in my bedroom, and grabbed an elastic to tie my hair back into a ponytail.

I made my way back to the kitchen table a few minutes later to hopefully eat whatever was left from breakfast. The others had decided to camp out in the living room to catch some Saturday morning cartoons, something Oak had found he loved very much. I could hear them laughing as I sat down at the table and put some food on my plate.

"Hey, thanks for not eating all the food without me!" I shouted to them. No answer. With a shrug I started nibbling on some bacon.

"Hey, Vivi? I was thinking," I began shouting again, not sure if she was listening. "I want to send a message to someone in Faerie." Silence. And then quick footsteps. Vivi's head appeared from around the corner, with a wicked grin on her face.

"Do you now? So does this mean you've come to your senses and you're ready to scheme against Cardan?"

I chuckled and swallowed some pancake. "Sort of. I want to get a message to someone, but I don't know if I can trust any of them. I just want to know if it's possible to communicate with anyone over there without me stepping foot inside Faerie, and you know—"

"—forfeiting your life?" Vivi finished for me, reminding me what I told her of the conditions of my exile.

I sighed. "Exactly."

Vivi came to the table and plopped herself down in the chair in front of me, her purple hair falling over her shoulders. "Honestly, I don't know. It's too dangerous for any of us to attempt anything because of Oak. Faerie could be a war zone for all we know."

I picked at my food with my fork, trying to think of something, anything. War? That just seems too foreign to me. I couldn't imagine my home destroyed by war. "You're right." I looked Vivi in the eye and gave her a defeated smile. "I guess this is where the scheming starts, then."

Vivi reached across the table to take my hand and gave it a little squeeze. "If anyone can figure it out, it's you. But Jude, you need to be careful. There are some serious people and consequences at play here, not to mention the complex riddle that is Cardan Greenbriar."

I nod. "Of course. I'll be careful."I took a drink of orange juice, then got up to put my dishes in the sink.

Vivi stared at me for a long moment, then got up from the table and announced it was her turn to take a shower.

The rest of the day was pretty ordinary and uneventful. Heather and Vivi went grocery shopping while I helped Oak study for the spelling bee at school. He's pretty settled into this mortal life and enjoys school and the friends he's made.

Even though he misses Oriana and Madoc immensely, he does a good job of pretending to be strong and hiding his sadness.

Everything back in Faerie most likely went to hell after Cardan sentenced me to exile, and I know that because no one has tried to contact us. It's been a quiet, boring mortal life since.

"I'm heading to bed." I say as I nearly fall asleep during one of Heather's movies. I'm so tired I don't even know what the movie is. We plan a movie night about every week, and some of the movies are great, while others, like this one are weird. Something about aliens and the end of the world. Oak was asleep on a pillow, his legs across Heather's lap. He didn't make it a half hour into the first movie.

I stumble down the hall and make a sad attempt at changing into a night gown before I fall into my bed and drift off to sleep.

I roll over onto my side, rub my eyes and glance at the clock. It's just after two. My blankets have all but fallen off the bed, which must be what woke me up in the first place. I pull them back up and roll to my other side to get comfortable again.

Voices. My eyes fly open, and I whine quietly to myself. Oh come on, just let me sleep. I pull my pillow over my head. Vivi and Heather must have finally decided to give up on movie night and went to bed. My eyes close as I start to drift off again.

More voices. I sit up in my bed, ready to raise hell against Vivi and Heather for interrupting my sleep. I listen closely, determined to find out what's so important at two in the morning that it's ok to wake up the house.

As my head clears and the drowsiness fades away I realize the voices aren't coming from inside the house, but outside.

I slide out of bed and head to my window. My bedroom looks out onto the street, and as I stand there peering out from behind the curtains, I don't see much, but can still hear faint voices, almost like really loud whispering.

The houses on our street are packed in pretty close together, and sound seems to carry without much effort. I look from side to side, trying to locate the whispers, and then I see one of the neighbors to the right of us heading out from between our houses.

They're dressed in dark clothing, and clearly don't want to be seen as they dart in between our yards and head across the street toward another person dressed in dark clothing, standing next to a tree.

My curiosity starts to burn me up from the inside out. I grab a pair of running pants and pull them on underneath my nightgown, and throw a dark blue hooded sweatshirt over my head.

I quietly walk down the hall outside my bedroom, and grab my shoes from the front door before heading to the side door that leads into the garage. There's another door on the side that leads to the side yard. I open the door carefully and head along the back of the house instead of into the front. The neighbor and their friend may notice me if I come from the exact same direction.

As I inch up the other side of the house nearer to the front, I don't see them anymore. I glance around into the dimly lit street. There's just enough light to see if you focus your eyes hard enough, but it's also dark enough for anyone to hide easily.

As I scan up and down the street, I spot them moving farther away, walking down the sidewalk. What are you up to at this hour? I take a deep breath and dart directly across the street to where they were a minute ago. I decide to stick close to the houses as I trail them, staying away from the street lights or anything that might give me away. It's been a while since I've been able to use my spy skills, but they never left me. Sneaking around like this instantly makes me feel full like I'm full of life again, and it's exhilarating. Also dangerous.

My stealthy friends turn down the next street, and I wait a bit before following after them. I can't let my curiosity take over, that's when mistakes are made.

They've stopped half way down the block, and I hop inside a low fence along someone's yard. I crawl on my hands and knees to get a bit closer, and that's when I hear their hushed whispers.

"—I don't know, but it's nearly time. She needs to be ready." One of them says.

The other hesitates. "Then it's up to you to get this moving faster."

They lean in closer to one another as if they're about to kiss, but more hushed whispers. It's hard to tell if they're male or female. "This time Tuesday night, then." The first one says, and the second nods. They part ways and head off in different directions.

Tuesday night? Sounds like I'll be losing more sleep.

I wait for a minute before I lift my head up above the fence I'm hiding behind, just in time to see one of them heading my direction. I duck back down and wait for them to pass me before I look again.

A breeze passes through, and it's just enough to blow some strands of the other person's hair from beneath their hood.

Purple hair.

I freeze.

 **END OF CHAPTER TWO**

Thanks for continuing the story with me. I love comments. Please let me know what you think so far!


	3. Three

Jude

I try to keep my breathing shallow and inaudible as I lay there in the frozen grass, listening to Vivi's footsteps fade away, and confusion taking hold of me. What was she up to? More importantly— who was she talking to?

I let out a breath as I rose to my knees to peer out from my hiding spot. The cold night air kept me alert, if not a little numb. The grass sparkled around me with the gathering frost, and I wipe my wet hands on my jacket. I quickly scanned my surroundings but didn't see Vivi or her mysterious friend, and the silence confirmed I was now alone.

I rose to my feet, hopped the fence to my left, and made my way back to Vivi's house. My bedroom window was unlatched as I often opened it during the day, so I decided to climb through to avoid being seen sneaking through the house. Chances were good that Vivi would still be up, carefully considering whatever information she exchanged with her friend.

What did they mean she needs to be ready? Were they talking about me? Why? Was this about Faerie? About Cardan? Does Madoc have anything to do with this? My stomach dropped into my toes and I instantly felt sick. Tomorrow I would consider the hard things I haven't wanted to think about, including Madoc and his army. And Cardan. But first I needed some sleep.

I slowly slid my window shut and peeled off my clothes down to my night gown, then crawled back into bed. I stared into the dark for a long while as I waited for sleep to overtake me. My mind was so busy I couldn't relax. I rolled over onto my stomach, my arm falling to the floor. My fingertips dance around a bit, then come in contact with something on the floor.

Ice cold metal kisses my fingers. Cardan's ring. My ring. It had fallen to the floor some time ago and I'd all but kicked it under the bed. I picked it up and brought it closer to my face. Even in the darkness of my room, with just the ghost of moonlight peeking in through the curtains, the ruby sparkled.

This damn ring flooded me with too many emotions every time I looked at it, but right now I clutch it in my hand and hold it close to my chest, tucked safely between me and my sheets, as I drifted off to sleep.

"Jude! Are you awake?" I hear someone yell from down the hall.

Silence. I groan and pull the covers over my face.

My door flies open and I'm forced into consciousness.

"I'm sleeping." I try to roll over and ignore the intrusion, but then Oak is laughing and climbing onto my bed.

"Ow!" I groan as he starts poking me.

More laughter. Then he pulls the covers down and I'm blasted by sunlight shining directly on my face. I bring my hands up to protect my eyes.

"Oak, what the hell?"

He starts bouncing on the bed next to me. "Why are you still sleeping? It's almost noon! Get up, get up!" He's hovering over me, trying to pull my hands away from my face.

I can't help but laugh as I give in and let the sun blind me. "Okay, I'm awake. What's all the excitement about?" I sit up and look at him.

"Vivi says it's going to be a nice day today, and she said you would go on a bike ride with me." He's looking at me now with pleading eyes, which suggests he didn't entirely believe Vivi's little lie, but here he is begging me to go with him anyway.

I squint at him through the blinding light. "Oh she told you that, did she? I was hoping to surprise you." My tone is playful and I hope he doesn't see through my act, but he's smiling at me now.

"Yes!" He jumps off my bed and runs out of the room. I can hear him shouting to me that he'll meet me outside.

I shake my head and rub my eyes. I was planning on another run this morning to clear my head and contemplate what happened in the middle of the night, but I guess a bike ride isn't such a bad idea.

I peel myself away from my comfortable bed and stretch. What a strange night. I change into my running gear and head out into the living room, making a stop at the bathroom along the way. I pull my hair back in a ponytail.

Vivi and Heather are out back, sitting on the porch swing together. This must be why she volunteered me to get Oak out of the house. They must want some time alone.

I head out into the garage to get my bike, and find Oak waiting for me, all geared up and sitting on his bike with the biggest smile I've ever seen. I grab my bike and walk over to him.

"Ready?" I ask as I put my foot on the pedals.

"Ready!" And we take off.

When Oak and I get back to the house, Vivi and Heather are getting ready to leave.

"There you two are! That's got to be the longest bike ride ever." Heather is looking at us with a bit of impatience. "Vivi and I were thinking we could all head to the mall for the day, so get cleaned up and let's go!" Now she's excited.

"No thanks. I have a thing I need to do. And some other things, but you all go ahead. I'll be fine."

Heather gives me a look that suggests she's suspicious, but she smiles at me. "What thing could possibly be so important?"

"Oh, just some stuff, and—" I look away. "Kick-boxing class."

Heather laughs out loud. Actually laughs. "Okay, have fun with that I guess."

I shrug and look at Vivi, and something about her expression catches me off guard. She doesn't seem to be paying attention.

"What's the matter with you?" I ask.

She looks up at me, startled. "Hmm? Oh nothing. I just didn't sleep well last night." She smiles, and the distant expression is gone.

Yeah, sneaking out in the middle of the night tends to mess with one's sleep. "No sleep, but you still want to go to the mall?"

Vivi rolls her eyes. "Of course! You know how we love our Sunday trips to the mall." She puts a hand on Oak's back as the three of them head out to the car. We say our goodbyes, and then it's just me in the house. Total silence. Perfect.

I rush to my bedroom and grab my notebook, a marker, a pen, tape, and my pouch of darts. I head out to the back yard and sit on the swing for a few minutes, trying to gather my thoughts.

I reach for my notebook and write Madoc's name on a section of blank paper in black marker, and tear it out. I grab the tape and walk over to the other side of the yard where the shed is, and where I've hung a dart board to one outside wall.

I tape Madoc's name to the center and go back for my darts. As I stand in front of the dart board I calm my breathing and focus on Madoc's name.

My fingers turn a dart over and over. The sharp tip gleams in the sunlight and I'm reminded how much I miss all my weapons in Faerie. I draw my arm back and let out the breath I was holding as I let the dart fly. It hits the exact center of the board, pinning Madoc's name to it. The satisfaction I feel almost makes me laugh out loud.

I send another dart flying and it lands next to the previous dart. Four darts later, and they're all competing for space in the center of the board.

As I walk over to pull the darts out, it occurs to me that I should be afraid of the silent treatment I've been receiving from Faerie, Madoc in particular. He has an entire army at his disposal, and a fiery rage that is most likely being directed at Cardan right now, or being reserved entirely for me, seeing as I won't allow him anywhere near the throne.

I grab the darts and march back over to the swing and sit down to make some notes.

Cardan not only has Madoc to fend off, but also an angry Orlagh, who wasn't allowed to take her revenge out on me before I was sent here. She no doubt is throwing Nicasia at him if she hasn't retreated to the Undersea to sulk and plan out her next move.

Would Madoc choose a side opposite the crown? Or would he be all too happy to rally forces to destroy Cardan? With his army he is most likely a wild card in this situation. He wants Cardan off the throne, but would he want to destroy Orlagh more? If he manages to destroy Cardan, he still has me to deal with, but nobody knows I was made Queen just hours before my exile.

I would do anything to protect you, Jude. I feel sick. It occurs to me that Cardan may have sent me here as his insurance policy.

I twist a lock of hair around a finger before I slam my notebook shut. This is too much, and all this thinking is making me angry all over again.

It feels like too much time has passed since I came out here, and I run inside to check the clock. It's nearly three in the afternoon, and I have a kick-boxing class to get to.

Perfect. I need a distraction.

I hide my notebook under my mattress, change my clothes, and head off to my class at the community center to hopefully release some of this tension. And then tomorrow the real scheming begins.

 **END OF CHAPTER THREE**

Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter is coming very soon, and will be full of surprises. I can't wait!

Please comment! I love reading what you all have to say. The feedback is very helpful.


	4. Four

Cardan

There was a soft knock on my door. I quickly finished buttoning up my shirt and walked over to open it.

"Good morning, Your Majesty." The Roach says, and slightly bows his head.

I can't help but grin at him, and step aside to let him in. "Since when are you so formal?" I ask. He ignores me and I close the door behind him.

"Well? Any news?" I cross my arms and wait for him to answer.

He spins around and looks me in the eye.

"I might have something, but don't get too excited, because I don't think it's anything near what we were expecting of her by this point."

"Alright, I'm listening."

"Snapdragon tells me something's lit a fire under her ass all of a sudden. It seems she's snapped out of her daze finally, and has been asking questions."

"Oh. I see." I walk over to the window and look out onto the grounds. "What sort of questions?"

I hear him clear his throat behind me. "Like I said, don't get too excited, because it's nothing. She's barely managed to ask if she'll ever make it back to faerie."

I turn around to look at him, and I'm surprised to see disappointment and sternness on his face. It's amusing.

"Oh come on, this is definitely good news." I say. "Relax a little."

The look on his face tells me he isn't as amused as I am, and I'm sure there's a lot he'd unload on me if I wasn't the High King.

"Do I need to remind you how quickly Jude's mind works?"

"No. Of course not. It's just that—"

"Today she may be wondering if I'll ever let her come back, but tomorrow she'll have figured out how to come back. You see?" He doesn't appreciate my tone, but I can see that the point has been made, and he relaxes a bit.

The Roach stares at me for a long moment and taps a finger on his chin. "So where do we go from here?" He asks.

I walk over to the small table in the center of the room and pour myself a glass of water. "We go on as planned, and wait to see what she does." I take a sip of water, and I can see his mind working on something. "What is it?" I ask him.

He straightens his tunic and shrugs. "It's nothing. I just want to speak to Snapdragon and The Bomb before the next excursion."

I nod and he sees himself out.

There's another knock on my door, and The Roach peeks his head in. "Sir, Nicasia is looking for you in the throne room." He says, and then he's gone again.

I groan and set my water glass back down on the table, then head out the door. What does she want now?

"Are you even listening to me?" Nicasia all but screams at me, and my attention slowly drifts back to her angry face.

"Nicasia." I warn. "Just because your mother is threatening all-out war every third Friday does not mean you can do whatever you want around here, or continue to speak to me the way you have been."

She folds her arms and rolls her eyes at me. "Like I even want to be here. "

"Then why are you still here?" I ask her, and I'm genuinely curious about what she'll say. But instead she stares at me with fury in her eyes, then turns around and storms out, her blue-green hair and purple gown flowing behind her. I already know Orlagh will disown her if she doesn't try her hardest to seduce me into marrying her, but it's a lot more fun to see her so uncomfortable.

I shift in my seat and take in the silence of the throne room. Since Jude left and Orlagh threw a fit that I didn't turn her over to the Undersea, it's been eerily quiet at the palace. I like to think I frightened Orlagh back into her hole in the sea after I made an island appear out of nowhere, a fact that amuses me often.

In a fit of rage not too long ago, Nicasia let it slip how much she tortured Jude during her capture all those months ago, and how she wished she had done more. Of course, she was only raging at me because I kicked her out of my bed after she snuck in during the night. Since that confession I can hardly stand to look at her, and I'm positive her humiliation at being dismissed is the reason she's so prickly toward me now.

My thoughts wander back to Jude, and I can't help but wonder what she's doing right now, trapped as she is, no doubt hating me more than ever. In time she'll see this was necessary and will forgive me. She has to. Out of habit I wiggle my fingers to play with my ruby ring, but I'm reminded again that I gave it to Jude. I stare at my naked finger and wonder what she's done with the ring.

I glance to the open doors of the throne room and see The Bomb approach. She wears a smile on her face as she approaches me, bowing quickly. I immediately feel the absence of my once always-present Seneschal. It's an odd feeling to admit I almost miss her in that capacity, but I can't get distracted thinking about what that means.

"May I have a word, Your Majesty?" We both look around for eavesdroppers.

I nod and she steps up next to the throne.

"I think I may have an idea of what to do about our—situation."

The situation being how and when to bring Jude back to Faerie without everything falling apart.

I eagerly straighten in my seat and lean in. "Tell me."

A smile spreads across her face, then she lets me in on her plan.

 **END OF CHAPTER FOUR**

Please don't hate me for how short this chapter is! Just know the next one is going to be posted very soon. I'm almost done writing it, and I think you'll love what happens next!

Also, I've been listening to music while I've been writing these chapters, and I'm thinking of posting the songs or playlists at the end of each chapter. Let me know if you want to see that.

Thanks for reading! Love to you all.


	5. Five

Jude

I glance at the clock on my night stand. It's nearly two in the morning. Tuesday. It's almost the exact time Vivi said she was going to meet up with her mysterious friend again, and this time I'm ready. I have dark running pants and a hoodie on, my hair is tied back in a ponytail, and my shoes are already on.

I peek through the curtains covering my window, but don't see anything out of place. There's more fog than usual due to the storms lately, but I can still see just fine. Come on, where are you? I turn my head to the side to get a better view of the houses down the street. Nothing. I turn the other way. Nothing.

I look at the clock again. It's the right time, but nothing is happening. Maybe they decided not to meet? I listen carefully for any sound, and I'm greeted with complete silence.

Just to make sure, I tiptoe out of my room and press my ear to Vivi's bedroom door down the hall. All I can hear is Heather's faint snoring, but nothing else.

I very carefully open the door, and can clearly see Vivi and Heather tangled up in each other and both of them sound asleep. I ease the door shut and make my way back to my room.

I go to the window again, just in case, but don't see any indication that a secret meet-up is happening without me.

Giving up, I decide to put my nightgown back on and climb into bed. I stare up at the ceiling and let my thoughts drift as I try to go back to sleep.

 _"Jude, kiss me." Cardan says as he holds my gaze. When I don't move he slowly takes a step closer to me, and then another step. He's testing his boundaries now._

 _He comes to stand in front of me and I stare up at him. His face is inches from mine, and he's grinning slightly. I can't think. I don't even know if I'm breathing._

 _He looks into my eyes for a long moment and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, his fingers trailing down my neck and across my collar bone. He gently holds my face in his hands._

 _"Do you miss me?" He asks as his thumbs lightly brush over my cheek bones._

 _"What are you— why would I miss you?"_

 _"Do you hate me for what I've done?"_

 _I stare into his eyes. "What have you done?" I ask, genuinely confused._

 _He smiles at me and pulls my body against his. I loop my arms around him and rest my head against his chest._

 _I can feel his steady breathing and take in my surroundings. We're in his bedroom, and it feels like the middle of the night. I feel my ruby ring on my finger, and I start to realize how wrong it feels to be in his room, and to be in Faerie. I pull away from him to look into his eyes._

 _"Please don't send me away." I say, and my eyes start to burn._

 _He looks down at me and kisses my forehead, his warm mouth lingering longer than necessary, then he pulls me back into him and whispers into my ear, "But my dearest Jude, I already have."_

My eyes open and I roll over to look at the clock. It's five-thirty. Well, I guess there's no point in waiting for the alarm to go off now. I make sure to turn it off and roll out of bed, trying to forget what I was dreaming about.

I dress in my running gear and head out of the house and onto the street. I glance down at my watch and program it to track my run today. I stretch my legs and arms a bit, and start out in a brisk walk.

My thoughts of course drift to the dream I had, and I'll admit I'm distracted by Cardan. He felt so real, and I can actually feel the ghost of his fingertips on my face, and his lips on my forehead as he kissed me. But what does any of it mean? Am I hoping he's punishing himself for what he did by sending me away? Absolutely. I hope he's suffering without me there to clean up his messes.

I pick up my pace into a slow jog. I'm one mile into my run, with seven more to go before I reach the park and ride I stopped at last time on my way back to Vivi's.

I can still feel some stiffness in my legs and arms from my kick-boxing class the other day. The instructor really worked us hard this last time, but I finally feel like I'm starting to get the hang of it and might even be able to do some damage if I'm attacked. It's not a self defense class, but I've got some serious muscles now.

Three miles down.

I start running now as I cross a quiet intersection, and zig-zag down a few side streets before I'm running along the coast.

Four miles down.

The air is extra humid this morning from the storms, and I breathe it in deep, letting it cleanse me from the inside out. My hair whips around my face, and without stopping I pull the hair tie from my wrist and wrap it around my hair.

I pump my legs harder as the road begins an incline, signaling that I'm close to my destination.

Six miles down.

I look out over the ocean for a brief moment, at the sun rising up over the water. It's alarmingly beautiful, and I almost stop myself to take it all in, but I keep going.

Seven miles down.

Ahead of me I can see the road level out and widen as the park and ride comes into view. Almost there.

Eight miles down.

I reach the parking lot and slow down to catch my breath as I take in the surroundings. It's Tuesday, which means it's a busy commute day, and a lot of cars are arriving now. I walk along the edge of the parking lot and make my way around to the cliff side where my bench and some trees are waiting for me.

I grip my side as my body starts to react to the uphill climb, and I bend over for a moment to put my hands on my knees. Breathe in, breathe out.

I start walking again, my hands on my hips as I still try to catch my breath, and my eyes on the ground in front of me.

When I look up I see my bench, empty and waiting for me, and the trees just a few feet away—

I stop moving entirely as it appears someone is leaning against one of the trees, watching me. I cautiously move closer, and I'm relieved when I finally recognize who it is.

"Roach!" I scream, and break into a run. I launch myself into him, nearly knocking him over, and hug him tight. I'm surprised at the sobs I hear coming from me.

He wraps his arms around me for a brief moment and then steps away to look at me. "My Queen." He says and smirks at me.

For a moment I'm thrown off by his choice of words, and then I realize he's referring to the name I was given by the Court of Shadows. Surely he doesn't know I'm the actual Queen of Faerie. Or does he? I smile back at him.

"Took you long enough to show up. I've been standing here for three hours." He says. "It's cold here."

I laugh. "Three hours? Well, that sounds like a perfect waste of time."

He shrugs and says, "You look completely different than the last time I saw you. You look stronger—deadly, even. " he gestures with his hands at my whole body, and I nod.

"Thanks. But, you know, when you're just dumped on your ass in the mortal world without another word from anyone at home, you have to find something to do to keep from going crazy." My tone may sound harsher than I intended, but he doesn't seem to be offended by it.

"Indeed." He says.

"So, what exactly are you doing here? Does this have anything to do with why my sister has been sneaking out in the middle of the night to meet with mysterious strangers?" I impatiently fold my arms in an attempt to look intimidating.

"Well—" The Roach starts, and then I hear a laugh that didn't come from him.

"See? I told you she was quick." Another voice interrupts from beside us. I know that voice.

I snap my head to my left and see Cardan emerge from behind a tree about twenty feet away, looking as regal as ever, but in plain clothes. _Mortal clothes?_ Why would he be wearing mortal clothes? He's wearing a white button-up shirt, untucked over dark blue jeans, the sleeves rolled up on his forearms, and nice, dark brown shoes that look like they might be boots.

I'm frozen in place and don't dare say a word as he slowly moves closer to us. He's holding his hands up in surrender as he comes to stand next to The Roach, directly in front of me. He's about two feet away from my face. I still can't form words.

"Jude, you're freaking out. Please, don't freak out." Cardan says.

The Roach leans toward him and whispers, "She seems to be in shock."

I blink at them both and take a breath. I didn't realize I wasn't breathing.

I'm so shocked by what is happening right now, that I do the only thing that makes sense, and start laughing hysterically.

They both look at each other, and then back to me, clearly confused.

I finally catch my breath and try hard not to erupt into a fit of giggles again. "Cardan Greenbriar, High King of Elfhame, has set foot in the mortal world!" I double over and sink to my knees, laughing and laughing. I can't stop. I don't know if I even want to.

"I'm glad I can amuse you." He says dryly, looking down at me, his forehead creasing in the middle as he tries to understand my behavior. The Roach just stares, and is rendered speechless.

My hysterics slow down finally and I catch my breath. I rise to my feet and suddenly nothing is funny anymore. They both realize this and take a step back.

"You." I say to Cardan in a low voice. I take a step toward him, and he takes another step back. "You have some nerve showing up here!" I'm taking more steps toward him, and he steps back some more until he backs up against the waist-high fence that keeps sight-seers from falling off the cliff and into the water below.

"Did you know they just dumped me here?! On some random street fifty miles away?!" I close the distance between us. He is only inches from my face now. "I didn't even know where I was, and it took me two whole days to find my way to my sister's house. I've never felt more humiliated." I wasn't yelling anymore, and reliving those first days as an outcast was making my eyes burn.

I will not cry in front of him. He will not have the satisfaction of seeing me like this.

Cardan has a look on his face that I don't understand. The crease in his forehead has returned. I look away from him, turn around and walk over to my bench to sit down.

"Jude!" He calls to me. He and The Roach seem to start their own conversation, but I can't tell what they're saying in their hushed voices.

I don't say anything as I stare straight ahead at the water. I focus on a speedboat making its way back into the harbor.

A few moments pass before I hear Cardan's slow footsteps as he approaches me. He comes to stand in front of me, but I refuse to look at him.

He lets out a breath and crouches down in front of me, placing both his hands on the bench seat on either side of me, his hands nearly grazing my knees. He tries to catch my gaze, and like a child I look everywhere but at him.

"Look," He begins. "I didn't know that's how it was handled." I roll my eyes.

He grabs my face with one hand, forcing me to look into his eyes. "I didn't know." He says. "And I'm sorry."

Making eye contact with him does the one thing I was avoiding by not looking at him. My eyes burn and my vision starts to blur. I blink and feel hot tears run down my face.

Cardan's touch is gentle as he wipes my face with his thumbs. "I didn't know." He says again.

When he's satisfied that I won't blow up on him, he comes to sit next to me and rests his elbows on his thighs as he looks out over the water.

After a few minutes of silence, I've calmed down enough to finally speak.

"So, why are you here?" I ask softly, gazing out onto the water.

He takes a deep breath. "We need to talk."

I chuckle, though it sounds more like a grunt. "About what?" I ask, still staring straight ahead.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see him turn his head toward me. "About why you're here."

I turn to look at him. "I already know why I'm here. You said it yourself right before you threw me out on my ass."

He looks seriously at me now. "No. I mean, we need to talk about the real reason I sent you here."

This time I really chuckle. "Wait, you mean to tell me you're going to give me a real answer? No Faerie bullshit?"

He turns his body toward me and places an arm on the bench behind me.

"I'm going to give you more than a real answer. I'm going to tell you everything."

He hesitates for a moment, then takes a breath and leans in close. Close enough that he could kiss me. I swallow nervously.

"I'm calling truce, Jude. Once and for all."

 **END OF CHAPTER FIVE**

So I just have to say that I worked on this chapter and the previous one, almost simultaneously, mainly because I wanted to get the details right. Although it resulted in one short chapter, and one very long chapter. Haha! It was fun. Also, one song that helped me write these two chapters is listed below for anyone that cares.

Fire Meet Gasoline by Sia - I really see this song as incredibly descriptive of Jude and Cardan seeing each other again. Burn, baby, burn!

Also, you should know that I LOVE Sia's music, and many of her songs are winding up on a playlist for this story.


	6. Six

Cardan

My eyes glance down at her mouth, and then back to her eyes. I can tell she wants to say so many rotten things to me, but she doesn't pull away yet.

"Truce." She states. "You choose now of all times to call truce?" She laughs quietly. "I can't wait to hear this." She looks away and pulls back slightly to look at me.

"First, Jude, I don't think we should continue this discussion here." I say, looking around at the crowded parking lot.

"What— are you afraid these mere mortals will hear all your deepest secrets and then take your kingdom out from under you?"

"Our kingdom." I correct her. She's glaring at me now. "And, yes. Anyone could be spying on us here. Is there somewhere we can go that's a little more private? And please, somewhere we can get something to eat?"

Jude takes a breath and looks around.

"Fine, yeah, I think I know a place." She stands up and looks over at The Roach, who is sitting on the ground against a tree, then looks back to me.

"It's not far from here." She says and starts walking.

I motion for Roach to get up and follow us.

"You two go ahead. I'm going to wander around on my own for a while. I'll be close by to keep an eye on things, and I'll meet you back here."

I look over at Jude, who is currently glaring at Roach, then she catches me looking at her, and starts walking again. Quickly. I almost have to run to catch up to her.

"So, where are we going?" I ask her, trying to get her to talk to me as we turn onto the road and head down the hill.

"Just this quiet little place I stop at sometimes." She says without looking at me.

Before I can think of something else to say, she says, "It's early still, so they'll just be opening now. It won't be busy on a Tuesday."

"Oh. Well alright then."

We keep walking in silence. The sun is shining on my face, and I can still smell the ocean breeze. Jude is walking ahead of me, making it a point that she isn't interested in talking.

Her hair is pulled back and is a lot longer than I remember, hitting the middle of her back as it sways with the motion of her walking.

I can't help myself as I let my eyes wander further down her body, and it's obvious she's been taking care of herself. I can see how strong she is. I know her body well enough to recognize the changes, and I am going to allow myself to appreciate those changes, even if I'm smiling like an idiot. I don't even care.

Jude turns around just then, and I snap out of my daze, hoping she didn't notice me staring at her backside.

"Hurry up, we're almost there." I've slowed down enough for her to notice she'd gotten pretty far ahead of me.

I pick up my pace and catch up enough to walk beside her. I'm surprised when she doesn't rush ahead of me again.

We turn left onto a sidewalk and walk for another two blocks before we arrive at a little run-down shack-looking place. I stop walking.

"This is it?" I ask flatly as Jude walks ahead of me. She didn't notice I'd stopped right away, but she turns around and sees the look on my face.

Smirking, she says: "Relax. This is the best food you're going to get here. No one is going to try and murder us. Now come on."

She grabs my hand and pulls me until I start walking again. Her fingertips are cold from the cool morning air, but her gesture fills me with warmth. I fall into step beside her, and she lets go of my hand.

I open the door for her to walk in first, and follow her in.

The restaurant is bigger on the inside than you'd think, and it's not at all what I imagined it would be. It's a charming little place with a lot of natural light and posters all over the walls. There are booths lined against the walls each with privacy screens between each, and round tables with chairs filling the rest of the space.

There is a counter at the front where an older man is stationed, and a few people have formed a line in front of him. I overhear them all mentioning various types of food to him. Jude grabs my hand again to pull me along as I'm entranced by my surroundings.

We walk into the back corner and find a quiet place for us to talk and eat.

"Sit here and I'll go order us some food." She walks away and I take a seat at our corner booth as instructed.

It's one of those tables with seating that wraps around the circular table, and walls high enough we don't need to worry about anyone bothering us.

Jude returns a few minutes later with some drinks, and I slide in a bit further to make room for her.

"What are you doing?" She looks at me confused.

"Just sit. It will be easier to talk if I don't have to lean all the way across this massive table."

"Okay." She says slowly, and sits down beside me, careful not to get too close.

"So, what awful, disgusting food have you ordered for us?" I smirk at her and look down at my drink. I can see tiny bubbles dancing along the surface. "What is this?" I ask.

She picks up her glass, which appears to have the same strange liquid in it, and takes a drink.

"Just try it. You'll probably like it."

I bring the glass up to my mouth and decide to smell it first, but there's nothing to smell. I take a small sip and feel the tiny bubbles on my tongue. The drink is sweet.

"It's a cola drink." Jude says.

"Should I know what that means?" I ask as I put my glass back down on the table.

"It just means it has a bit of an energy boost in it." She explains. I honestly thought she was going to give me a very snotty answer.

"Oh." I say pleasantly.

Jude grabs a straw from the table and plays with the wrapper before deciding to unwrap it and put it in her drink.

"So." She says, turning to look at me. We make eye contact and are both quiet for a moment. She swallows and asks, "You want to call truce? What makes you think I'll agree to it?"

I turn my body toward her and look into her eyes. She's doing her best to look tough and intimidating, but I know better.

"Because I know you want to come home." I say simply.

Just then someone comes over and puts three plates of food on the table in front of us. One plate has what's called an American omelet, another plate has pancakes, and the third plate has hash browns and bacon. The server then gives us two empty plates and each a set of utensils.

Jude spoons some food onto her plate and I do the same.

"What makes you think I want to go back after everything that happened?" She takes a bite of food and looks at me.

"Because Faerie has always been your home." I say. I take a bite of bacon. It's delicious.

She snorts. "I've been here for months, and this place has actually grown on me. My life is here now."

Oh, I know this game. I am the champion of this game— no contenders. She's not fooling anyone but herself.

"Is that so?" I watch her carefully as I add, "You're saying you won't mind if I just leave now, without discussing your return to Faerie, despite the fact you've tried so hard to fit in all these years?"

A memory crashes through my mind, and I wince. I am reminded of a time when tormenting Jude was my mission in life. I needed it like I needed air to breathe. I specifically remember kicking dirt into her food as she sat on the grass. So much has happened since then.

Jude straightens her back and lifts her chin slightly as she stares me down.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." She says confidently.

This conversation has taken an interesting turn, and I'm enjoying it more than I should.

"Well, then. I guess I should be going." I say coolly.

"I guess you should."

I slide closer to her and put my arm on the top of the bench seat behind her shoulders. I lean in close to whisper in her ear, and she flinches slightly.

"I would appreciate it if you'd let me out so I don't have to slide all the way around to the other side."

She starts to move, but I let my arm drop to her shoulders to hold her in place. It works.

"But before I go, you should know one thing."

"Oh?" She asks in a whisper, looking straight in front of her instead of at me.

"If I leave, you're on your own to find your way back home." I can hear her swallow. "So I'll leave you with this as a goodbye."

I bring my other hand up to her face and put it on her cheek to make her look at me. She looks into my eyes, and I can feel her breathing pick up a bit. I tuck a lock of hair behind her ear and let my hand rest on the back of her neck before swiftly pulling her in for a kiss.

At first she is surprised, but she stubbornly kisses me back. I know all too well the internal battle she's having with herself right now, and it makes me smile against her mouth before I pull away. I cut the kiss off just as she begins to relax into it.

She's looking at me with an expression that looks something like anger mixed with curiosity, but she doesn't say anything. So I nudge her forward and she slides out of the seat to let me out.

When I stand I turn to her and say, "I really thought this conversation was going to end in an entirely different way, but you've made it clear where you stand, so goodbye, Jude."

I snatch a slice of bacon off her plate before biting into it and turning to make my way out of the restaurant.

Jude may be a master schemer, but I believe I just handed her something she wasn't expecting, and right now I wish I could tell her what an excellent teacher she was.

I hear her mutter a weak "goodbye" but I don't turn around, and I don't stop as I head out the door and into the cool morning.

 **END OF CHAPTER SIX**

Oh, Cardan. Love him so much. What do you think Jude is going to do?! Drop it in the comments because I genuinely want to know.

Also, this chapter was inspired by:

Madness by Muse

Y'all should know my other musical love is Muse. Musemusemuse! Love them to pieces!


	7. Seven

Jude

Five seconds. That's how long it takes me to realize the weight of Cardan's ultimatum.

He may be bluffing and trying damn hard to call me out on the carpet, but he can't lie. Which means he's actually telling the truth in that I'm on my own if I let him slip away. The bluff is in him hoping I don't.

Damn him. And damn him for kissing me when I was already confused by his presence.

With a rush of panic I throw some money down on the table to pay for our half-eaten breakfast and run as fast as I can for the door.

I burst onto the busy sidewalk outside and look down the street for him. There are quite a few people but I don't see anyone that even closely resembles him. Good thing he's tall so he can easily be spotted.

I whirl around in the other direction and there he is, just a few yards away, leaning against the brick wall of the cafe, with his arms folded and looking at me with a smug expression.

 _I should slap that smirk right off your beautiful face._

I hold in all the nasty things I want to say to him as I stomp over in his direction.

I put my finger in his face to scold him and he gives me a crooked grin. "Listen—" I say.

"That took you exactly ten seconds less than I thought it would, and it bothers me that I was wrong." He says with a smirk.

I fold my arms and try again to chastise him for the trick he just played on me, but he interrupts me. Again. How annoying.

"Tell me something, Jude." He says and pushes away from the wall to stand in front of me. "Was it that you realized you got played, or—" he leans in and smirks. "—was it that you hoped I'd kiss you again?"

Despite all the unresolved issues between us, I can't ever get his kisses off my mind. There's no way I'm admitting that to him right now.

"Oh, please." I say and smack him on the arm. "Don't flatter yourself."

He laughs, then comes to stand beside me and puts an arm around my shoulder as he steers us down the sidewalk. I try to ignore the warmth of his body this close to mine.

"I just realized you were bluffing and telling the truth. It intrigued me is all." We continue walking at a leisurely pace, my hands feeling restless as I don't know what to do with them.

"So you don't want to come home?" He asks for clarification. The way he says home unsettles me, and the fact that I'm unsettled by that unsettles me even more. I hate how confusing this is.

I sigh. "No, I do. I'm just— so mad and confused. About everything." I admit.

Cardan stops and stands in front of me, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"You're mad at me." He says. "If you have doubts about why I sent you here, then I can see how you would be angry and confused." His hands drop from my shoulders and he puts them in his pockets instead.

"Is that supposed to make any sense?" I ask.

"Well, it would, if you were paying any attention." He says with a grin.

I try to work that one out in my head, and when I don't say anything he steps beside me as we start walking again.

What could he possibly mean by that? I look up at him as we walk, but he doesn't look at me, and he doesn't say anything. He just lets me stew and stew on his words in classic Cardan fashion.

If I was paying any attention.

I stop as the pieces almost come together in one perfect moment.

He turns around when he realizes I've stopped and gives me a look I've seen before.

I stare at him for a long moment. Yes, it's just on the tip of my tongue.

All at once I feel an odd sense of deja vu, and then I recognize the look. It's the same look I saw on his face right after he exiled me from Faerie.

I let out the breath I'd been holding and a laugh follows. "Unbelievable."

He grins at me. "Thank you." He says. "But What are you thinking right now?"

I catch up to him and we begin walking again. I look around and notice we are going in the opposite direction of where we should be going, and if I didn't know better I'd say Cardan was leading us back to Vivi's house.

"I realized something not too long ago. Something that may or may not still be true based on the other thing I just realized." I can see my answer puzzles him. Good.

"And what is that?"

"Well, it seems you thought I was in on your little plan all along."

"Yes, that's true." He says slowly. "And the other thing? What did you figure out before today?"

I just look at him for a moment, deciding if I actually want to say it. I decide I want to because I know I'm right. And I'm going to rub it in his face.

"That you sent me here as sort of a sick, twisted insurance policy." I wait for him to react, but he just stares at me. His silence is unexpected but it confirms my suspicions.

"So it's true?" I say a bit loudly. "And you thought I'd already put this much together when you announced in front of everyone that I was basically a traitor?" When he doesn't say anything I move to start walking again but he grabs my hand to stop me.

"Jude, stop." His voice is soft and pleading. "Actually, what you just said—" he pauses. "—didn't even occur to me until this very moment."

I don't even know how to form words right now. All my thoughts have flown right out of my head.

He pulls me toward him and drops my hand. "I thought we were on the same page that day, with everything that happened that night before."

I remember back to that night, when we found ourselves bound to each other as King and Queen, husband and wife.

"And I thought you'd understand I was trying to get you away from Orlagh." He looks at me intensely, seriously. "To protect you."

I don't say anything. Not because I'm waiting for him to say more, but because I don't have a clue what to say. I'm completely lost by this confession. This was not something I even considered.

Cardan is watching me, gauging my reaction. He still has that intense look in his dark eyes.

If he wasn't sending me away to protect his investment, or insurance policy, then protecting me would mean— no, I can't even consider other reasons why he'd want to protect me. I can't let myself be that vulnerable, especially with him.

"Your reaction right after hearing your sentence has haunted me everyday since. That's when I knew we weren't on the same page after all. But I had to do it, Jude."

I think about his words but I'm so overwhelmed I can't speak. I'm absolutely sure I'm making the strangest faces based on how he's looking at me now.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" He asks me after a long silence.

I nod. "Yes. And no." I stammer, looking into his eyes. "I understand what you just said, but I don't get why you'd do something like that. For me, I mean." I look away from him, shaking my head, and watch a taxi pass by us. This gives me an idea.

"Hold on." I say and step up to the curb and wave my arm. A taxi stops in front of us and I open the door.

"What are you doing?" Cardan asks.

"Just get in."

We both slide in and I give the taxi driver the address to Vivi's house. Cardan is waiting for me to explain.

"No one will be home right now, so we can be alone and not get interrupted." I realized how that sounded as soon as it left my mouth, but Cardan doesn't hesitate to tease me about it. I look out the window as the city passes us by, hoping to avoid the awkwardness.

"Really, Jude? And I haven't even taken you on a proper date yet.

I look at him and see he's enjoying this.

"Well, you might have forgotten that we're married. So really, the whole dating thing is pointless." I should just stop talking.

Cardan is laughing, and I realize how much I like the sound of his laugh. "Your face is so red right now." He says.

He unbuckles his seatbelt and slides to the middle seat next to me.

"And so you know, no I haven't forgotten that we're married, wife." He says with a grin, and rests his arm along the seat behind me

"Right." I swallow and turn to look out the window. I don't want him relishing in the evidence of my embarrassment.

We're almost to Vivi's house. The taxi takes a corner a bit too fast and Cardan knocks into me. I can feel his breath on the side of my face.

"I'd apologize but that clearly wasn't my fault." He says loudly.

The taxi driver mutters something so quietly we can't quite hear, right as we arrive at Vivi's house.

As I suspected, no one is home right now. I pay the taxi driver and we make our way inside.

Cardan looks so out of place in Vivi's very ordinary house, and he's looking around at everything in amazement, as if he's never set foot in something so unrefined. He most likely hasn't, and that puts a smile on my face.

I take my jacket off along with my shoes and put them in the closet near the door to the garage.

"So." Cardan says. "This is where you've been living all these months."

"It is. It's not so bad, though." I say.

He wanders off to take in more of his surroundings, and I move toward the back of the house and into my room.

"What are you doing?" Cardan asks from close behind me.

I didn't even realize he was following me.

I grab a few articles of clothing from my dresser. "Taking a shower."

He looks at me with a confused expression.

"I'm sure you've noticed that I stink." I say.

He just smiles. "Actually, you smell very pleasant."

I'm not sure how that's possible.

"Before you showed up I was in the middle of a pretty intense exercise routine and I feel disgusting right now."

"So you're just going to avoid talking to me because you smell?"

I swat his arm as I pass him. "Not exactly. You're going to wait here and we'll talk when I'm done. And I'll smell better too."

I walk up to him, put my hands on both his arms and guide him to my bed, where I force him to sit down.

"Now, stay here. I won't be long." I start out of the room, but turn around to see him smiling mischievously at me. "And don't get into anything." I tell him, and he waves me off.

I head into the bathroom, close the door, and turn on the water. It will be a solid minute or two before it's a decent temperature, so I work on peeling out of my clothes.

Yes, I may stink and feel disgusting, but I really need to clear my head before having a serious conversation with the High King of Elfhame, who happens to also be my husband.

I need to stay focused and not get distracted with all the feelings that his sudden appearance has overwhelmed me with.

I've realized this day can't possibly get any more strange or confusing.

I step into the shower and let the hot water wash away all the tension in my mind and body.

 **END OF CHAPTER SEVEN**

Thanks for reading this far! Drop me a comment and let me know your favorite or least favorite part. I'm curious about all of it!

So playlist.. this is normally where I'd post this chapter's song, but I've decided to post the playlist for this book as a bonus chapter at the end. I'll add to it every week, but still need to figure out a couple of the songs to the chapters I've already posted. So you might not see it for a few more days still.

Next chapter is coming soon! What do you think is going to happen next?


	8. Eight

Cardan

I fall backward onto Jude's bed and stare up at the ceiling. If I didn't know I was in the mortal world already, this would be the strangest dream I've ever had.

The events of the day so far have surprised me, and seeing Jude again has made me realize a handful of things. The first being how hard it is not to touch her all the damn time. Second, it is far too easy to flirt with her, even though it seems she hates me and therefore doesn't trust me. And finally, how hard it will be to leave.

I close my eyes and breathe in deep. Her sheets smell like her, and I want to hold onto the memory of her scent for as long as I can.

A noise from the bathroom startles me, and I realize she's turned on the water.

I reach over and pull one of her pillows behind my head. Then I toss it and tuck my hands behind my head instead.

I'm restless, and have to do something. So I sit up and look around the small room. She has a tall chest of drawers beside her window, and a desk along the adjacent wall. A notebook and pen, and a pile of darts occupy her desk top. Darts, Jude?

Jude's bed occupies the wall opposite her desk, near the front of the room, and her closet is just a couple feet away.

I look over and something shiny on her bedside table catches my eye, and I'm surprised to see my ring lying there. I reach over and pick it up, turning it over in my hand.

I fondly remember the day I stole this right off Jude's slender finger. She didn't even realize I'd taken it. And yet, I'm sure she eventually did notice it was missing, but still she said nothing.

I've learned a lot of things in the time I've known her. She'd no doubt be horrified to know what other things I've learned and become quite good at in the time we've been apart from each other these last few months.

Maybe she'd be impressed, even. I realize I could test that theory right now and see how it goes.

I place the ring back in the exact spot I'd taken it from and get up to look around.

I never said I wouldn't snoop, but perhaps this once I can do as she says. Besides, if I'm going to get into trouble, I'd rather get into it a much different way.

I get up from the bed and walk over to the door. I open it carefully and can still hear the water running in the room directly across the hall.

I move to that door and listen carefully, but all I hear is water splashing around, and— is she singing? No, just humming. The song sounds like one of the popular ones from the many revels we've attended together.

I put my hand so very gently on the brass doorknob and give it a slight turn. It's unlocked. I twist it the rest of the way and push open the door.

I can already feel the steam from the shower against my skin.

I slip inside quickly and close the door behind me without making a sound.

The steam in the room is thick, but after a few moments I can see clearly.

I am surprised to see Jude's face behind the shower curtain. It's a solid sky blue color, and the top section is clear, so I can see her from the shoulders up. I can just barely see a pale line against her golden skin from when she's been out in the sun. Most likely from warmer days while she's been running.

Her head is tipped back into the spray, accentuating her long slender neck, eyes closed as she hums and leisurely washes out her hair.

She really did smell fine before, but the scent in the room now is making my mouth water. I don't know what I'd call this scent exactly, but it's similar to what her bed smells like. It smells so good I'm sure I could get drunk off of it.

I lean against the wall of the bathroom, close enough that she'll surely jump out of her skin once she realizes I'm in here.

I'm almost disappointed she hasn't seen me yet.

Eyes still closed, she twists under the spray to let the water run over her face, and she stops humming.

Just then she leans out of the spray so she can open her eyes. Still, she doesn't see me.

She bends down to pick something up, and I hear a popping sound. Then she brings her hands to her face and smoothed some cream over her skin, eyes closed again.

Seriously, Jude? What happened to your master spy skills?

I watch her rinse the cream off her face. She looks very relaxed now, happy and content.

She wipes at her eyes and opens them, and then—

"Cardan!" She squeals.

Even though I've been waiting for her to notice me, I almost jump out of my skin when she does. Her face is the most shocked and embarrassed I've ever seen.

"What the hell?" She accuses. "Don't look!Just—turn around!" She scrambles to cover up.

I huff out a laugh at her attempt at modesty. "You do realize I've seen you naked before, right?" I say as I turn away to give her some privacy.

I make a solid attempt at not thinking back to our most intimate of moments, when Jude was trying to convince me to seduce Nicasia for information, and we got wrapped up in each other instead. That night finds its way into my thoughts often, and I remember how Jude had once said we just needed to get the tension out of our systems once and for all. If only that were true for me.

"How long have you been standing there?" She asks.

My back still turned, I say, "A few minutes. Long enough for you to wash your hair, then wash your face." I ramble on. "I didn't see anything aside from the faint tan line on your shoulder."

"Ugh!" She complains. "You're unbelievable."

"I got bored." I shrug, and her hand appears from behind the curtain to snatch up the towel from the rack beside me, then I hear rustling as she tries to cover up.

"So you thought it was a better idea to come in here and scare me to death?" She pauses. "Um, you can turn around now. How did you get in here?"

I turn to face her, caught off guard by her glistening, clean skin, toned arms and beautiful legs as she steps over the wall of the tub. She holds the towel in place between her legs to keep it from riding up, her other hand gripping the towel where it is twisted and tucked in place at her chest.

I swallow and try to remember how to speak. "It wasn't that hard. You left the door unlocked." I keep my eyes locked on hers, showing her I can control myself.

She Furrows her eyebrows and realizes her mistake. "But how did you--"

"Slip in unnoticed?" I finish for her.

She nods.

"Jude, I've become very good at this spy thing. I think you'd even be proud of some of the things I've accomplished."

"Such as?" she asks, sounding bored out of her mind.

"Well--" I start, and have a hard time containing my amusement. "--sneaking up on you totally and utterly naked, for starters. I thought you would have sensed me long before I could get away with it."

"You're hilarious." She says flatly and grabs for another towel to dry her hair. She tilts her head to the side and pats her hair with the towel.

I step over to the sink and have a seat on the counter top, pushing my body all the way back so my legs can hang from the edge.

She makes her way over and comes to stand beside me, in front of the sink. She grabs a bottle of some sort of lotion, squeezes some into her hand, and massages it into her hair.

"So." She says, looking at me while she works the lotion through her hair. "You got bored after you snooped all through my room, so you decided to come in here for a little bit of fun?" she asks.

Her cheeks are a little pink from the warmth of the shower, and all I want to do is touch her face. But instead, I just laugh at her question and shake my head. "I didn't go through your things." I respond. "But I was bored, and this seemed like a better way to cause trouble."

She just stares at me. "Hold on. I left you alone in my room, and you didn't go through my stuff? Weren't you just the least bit curious?" She twists her still-wet hair and lets it drop over the shoulder closest to me.

"You seem disappointed that I didn't snoop." I accuse her. She almost smiles, and reaches for another bottle of lotion, but this time it's for her face.

"I'm just a little surprised. Who knew you possessed that level of self-control?" She smiles, and while she's smoothing the cream over her face, my hand wanders to her twisted hair.

I can't help myself. I start running my fingers through it, and she's startled enough that her hands stop on her face. She looks at me, but doesn't say anything, so I keep doing it. She goes back to massaging her face.

"So, tell me something, Your Majesty. How are you here when you have a kingdom to run?"

"Well, Your Majesty--" She stops again, apparently surprised to hear me refer to her this way. "--I have a small handful of people I trust to run things while I slip away." I briefly look her in the eyes, but my gaze fixes back on my fingers in her wet auburn hair. Her forehead wrinkles slightly between her eyes, and she looks thoughtful.

She sets the bottle down in front of her, and I twist her hair around as she had done before, my fingers brushing against her skin lightly as I let her hair fall over her towel-covered body.

I finally lift my eyes and find her gazing back at me, her face flushed, but not from the heat of the shower. She's blushing, and it makes me smile.

"You were right to take a shower, because you smell incredible right now."

I didn't think it was possible, but her face goes a deeper shade of red. "Thanks." She says quietly, and checks the security of the towel wrapped around her body.

"Jude, you don't need to feel so self-conscious or embarrassed around me. Again, I've already seen you naked, and you've definitely seen me naked multiple times, so relax."

"Yeah, well, that was before--" she looks at herself in the mirror and starts untangling her hair, fluffing it out.

"Before what?" I ask her.

"Before everything." She says, not wanting to look at me. As if that makes any sense. She turns toward the door, and I grab her hand, pulling her back toward me until she's standing in the space in front of me, between my legs.

I hold both of her hands in mine and look into her eyes for a long moment, searching for the right words to say.

"I'm not an idiot." I say. "I know you don't trust me, and you probably don't want to trust me, but I meant what I said about calling truce. I really need you as an ally right now."

She lets out a long breath, studying me.

"An ally. I thought that was the point of keeping Nicasia around."

Nicasia. Does she think Nicasia and I--?

"Jude, just stop right there." I let go of one of her hands to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "I haven't kept Nicasia around as an ally, and trust me, there's nothing going on between us—"

"Cardan, please, you don't have to—"

"Jude. I'm not just trying to make you feel better by talking circles around the truth. This is me being completely open and honest. No games."

We make eye contact, and she knows I'm telling the truth. I can't lie to her.

"Nicasia isn't being held hostage, but she's more of a—" I stop to search for the right word. "—an incentive to keep Orlagh from attacking."

She's quiet for a moment, looking at me as if she's thinking through what I just said.

"Explain to me how she is not a hostage if you need her around in order to keep from being destroyed."

She makes a good point. "Yes, I may need her, but she knows she can leave at any time. The problem is, Orlagh will most likely disown her daughter if the two of us aren't married, so Nicasia can't go home for that reason. And marrying her is completely out of the realm of possibilities, so—"

"It's an endless loop." She says softly, looking up at me. "You know, I can actually appreciate that level of cleverness."

We smile at each other and she tugs on my hand to lead me out of the room, explaining that she really wants to put some clothes on.

I follow her into her room and flop onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling as she bustles about looking for her clothes.

"As clever as you are, I don't understand how you would consider me an ally." She says from across the room where she's standing in front of her dresser, her back to me.

I glance over at her and she's still in her towel. I smile and look back up at the ceiling. "How's that?" I ask.

"Cardan." She says seriously.

That gets my attention so I sit up to look at her. I don't know for sure where she's going to take this conversation, but I have an idea. She turns around to face me.

"One, I killed your brother."

And there it is. No warning. I take a deep breath. "Yes, you did. And for a brief time after I sent you away, I was angry with you for it." I say simply.

"And you're not still angry about it?"

I stand up and walk over to her.

"Cardan, you have to know I didn't kill him in cold blood." Her hands are trembling as I get closer to her. She nearly drops the clothes she pulled out of her dresser.

I put my hands on her shoulders, caressing her bare skin.

"I know, Jude. I know it wasn't intentional."

"Then why—"

"I wasn't surprised to find out about Balekin's death that morning, because I already knew." Her eyes widen. "But I was disappointed you didn't tell me what happened when you had the chance."

"You're right. I should have told you. I wanted to, and I thought I'd have the time to explain before everything fell apart."

She turns her gaze away from mine, out of shame I can assume. After a moment she looks back up at me.

"How did you know?" She asks.

I think back to that night, when I was poisoned, my army was stolen from me, and when Balekin made his move against Jude.

In the early hours of the morning, The Bomb woke me, but insisted Jude remain asleep. She was curled up next to me, her arm draped over my chest, and my arms were wrapped around her.

I slipped out of bed carefully, threw on a robe, and The Bomb pulled me out into the hall where she told me what some others had witnessed in the courtyard between Jude and Balekin. That there was an unfairly-matched duel, and that the High King's Seneschal had taken Balekin down despite her only fighting with a dagger against Balekin's sword. It was then I knew she had to be defending herself.

I look at Jude. "The Bomb told me what happened. There were witnesses." I told her the story exactly how it happened, not leaving out any details.

As I expect, she is surprised by this revelation.

"That explains why you didn't blow up at me that morning Orlagh showed up, because you already knew. In fact, you were already up and ready for the day. I always thought that was strange. You and mornings never agreed. I almost always had to pull your hungover ass out of bed."

"Hmm. So true." I say, agreeing with her. "What else is bothering you about us being allies?"

She gestures to have me turn around while she slips her clothes on. I hear her towel drop to the floor.

"Cardan, we've hated each other for as long as we've known each other." She says as she continues to dress.

Her words make me cringe.

"How can we even trust each other, knowing we're always playing this game of trying to outdo and betray the other person? Can a truce even exist?"

She begins to move behind me, and out the corner of my eye she heads to her closet and turns toward me. I take this as my cue that it's safe to look at her now.

She has a shirt on with thin straps, exposing her bare shoulders, and covering her lower half are—panties? She's standing before me in almost nothing except her underwear.

Don't be stupid. Don't be stupid.

She's grinning at me now as we talk, like it's no big deal that I can basically see her entire body in it's beautiful glory, but more likely because she knows I'm staring at her and trying to remain unaffected.

I suddenly remember she asked me a question. What was it?

Oh, right. "Isn't that why we call a truce? To swear off fighting against each other?" I ask her as she turns around to grab a folded piece of clothing.

She slides the pants over her legs, and pulls them up over her backside. She turns around to face me and closes the distance between us. My eyes don't leave hers as she comes to stand in front of me. I shove my hands in my pockets.

"Do you really think you can do that?" She challenges.

"You forget this was my idea. And to answer your question, I already know I can. The real question is, dearest Jude—" I flick her nose with my finger."—can you?"

 **END OF CHAPTER 8**

Okay, I know this was a really long chapter, but it had to be! There are so many unresolved issues between our main characters, but I kinda love the tension. Don't you?


	9. Nine

Jude

The way Cardan is looking at me right now with that smirk is unnerving. He's confident and insistent that a truce between us is possible. Something about it is still bothering me. I'm sure he can see the uncertainty on my face.

I'm briefly distracted by what he pulled in the bathroom, sneaking up on me like that. I can't believe I let my guard down. Still, seeing his eyes on mine the moment I noticed him in there with me, made my heart skip a beat and then plummet into my toes.

And the way he ran his fingers through my hair makes my skin tingle at the memory of it. It was so gentle and intimate.

I can't quite wrap my head around everything that's happened today, much less understand the major changes I've noticed about him since we've been apart. Or is it that it's been so long since I've seen him that I don't remember exactly what he was like before?

He's confident and assertive, not to mention extremely charming and devastatingly good-looking. I remember his unending charm and, oh, the good looks are as I remember them. That alone is going to get me into trouble. But the other things are noticeably more prominent than before. No doubt this is all due to his newfound freedom and making his own decisions. He's grown into his responsibilities. Without me.

I hear him say my name, and it draws me out of my distracted thoughts.

"Hmm?" I ask, meeting his gaze.

"Are you alright?"

"Mm, yes. Sorry. It's been a strange morning."

He runs a hand through his dark curls. "Why don't you tell me some of those other reasons you're so convinced are standing in the way of us forming a partnership."

How does he not have any reservations about this whole thing? Doesn't he have doubts? I bite my bottom lip, trying to gather up the nerve to admit this next part.

"Cardan. I'm—human." I hold up my hand to start ticking things off on my fingers. "Mortal. Weak. Nothing. What could I possibly have to offer that you would see worthy of an ally?"

He's crossed his arms over his chest, and I am positive he didn't think I'd take the conversation in this direction, and I've stunned him into silence. He gently taps his index finger against his upper lip.

Before he has a chance to respond, I poke his chest with my finger. "You once told me how disgusted you were with yourself for thinking about me, a mortal." I say softly.

My eyes bore into his, and I know he knows what I'm referring to. He remembers it as well as I do, when I held a knife to his throat and kissed him.

"Well, that was before." He says with a crooked smile, throwing my words from earlier back at me. And for whatever reason, he's stalling.

"Before what?" I ask.

He takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment before letting it out.

"What is this? Are you suddenly loathing yourself for being human?"

"No, of course not." I say, folding my arms now, looking away from him. I don't want to admit to him how much I have wished to become one of them. To not be human.

"But we both know how humans are perceived by those in Faerie. We're weak and untrustworthy."

His mouth slowly morphs into a devious grin. Bastard. I can't imagine what's so amusing to him.

"What's—" Right at that moment there's a distant roll of thunder outside. Curious, I break eye contact with him and walk across the room to my window. I pull one side of the curtain away and see the dark clouds coming in, blocking out the sun. And the wind is picking up.

I glance over at my clock and see that it's nearly noon. This has been the longest morning of my life. I briefly glance at Cardan, who is staring right back at me with his eyebrows arched, then I turn my attention back to the window.

"When were you supposed to meet up with Roach again?" I ask, still looking out the window.

"When I decide to." He says, from right behind me.

I'm so startled that I jump, which makes him chuckle.

"How are you doing that?" I almost shout, looking over my shoulder at him.

"I told you I've been working on my spy skills." He says, lifting one eyebrow.

"Well, this storm coming in looks like a particularly nasty one, and who knows how long it will stick around. Heading back to Faerie might get complicated if the wind keeps up like this."

He pulls aside the curtain to look out over my shoulder. "I guess we'll just have to wait it out." He says, his mouth next to my ear, and I shiver.

Another roll of thunder sounds, closer this time, and pressing my hand to the cold glass of the window, I can feel it rattle beneath my fingertips.

"What are you thinking about right now?" Cardan asks, looking down at me from over my shoulder. Our bodies are close enough that I can feel the heat from his skin.

"Home." I say. "You." I add, not looking at him.

A moment of silence passes, and then I feel his fingertips against my skin as he brushes my hair aside to fall over my right shoulder. My head turns slightly in reaction to him touching me, but I don't stop him. I don't want to.

"Hmm. What about me, exactly?" He asks softly, his cool fingers tracing a pattern along my exposed shoulder and neck. I can feel the goosebumps forming on my skin, and I have no doubt he can see them. I tilt my head slightly, relishing this feeling.

"How confused I am by you." I say softly, and I feel his low laugh against my ear.

I let the curtain fall back into place over the window and slowly turn in place to face him. Our noses are almost touching, and his hand that was dancing along my skin is now sliding down my arm instead.

"What's so confusing?" He asks softly, touching my fingertips with his own and not breaking eye contact.

I swallow, and find it hard to form words. What is happening right now? I grin at him slightly.

"What?" He asks, his voice still soft and velvet-smooth.

I bite my bottom lip. "Are you trying to seduce me into agreeing with you?" I tease. This situation reminds me too much of what happened the last time he tried to seduce me. Or at least, he was testing his skills on me when I tried to push him toward Nicasia.

He grunts out a soft laugh and smirks at me. "Why? Is it working?"

I look away from him as I feel my face heat up with embarrassment. There's no way in hell I'm going to admit to how he's making me feel right now.

His fingers touch my face and he turns my head so I'll look at him. His other hand comes up to rest on the other side of my face. "Please tell me. What's so confusing?"

I look into his eyes and my hands come up to gently hold his wrists as he touches my face, and I decide to give him the truth. "That even though I should hate you, and there are so many reasons I'd be justified in hating you, I don't. I can't." I say, shaking my head in surprise at my confession, and tearing my eyes away from his once more. My arms drop to my sides in defeat.

This moment is too intense, and I know my face will give away everything if I let him keep looking at me the way he is, like he's about to kiss me. And the truth is, I desperately want him to.

He tilts my face, and makes me look at him. He has a slightly crooked grin forming on his lips. "I can't either." He says, and suddenly his mouth is on mine. His hands still caress my face as he kisses me softly, slowly.

Good hell, he's a good kisser. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to kiss him. Almost, but not quite. His tongue traces slowly along my bottom lip, and as I open for him, the kiss deepens and feels more like a hunger, a desperate need for both of us.

His hands drop down to my waist to draw me closer, fingertips slipping just under the hem of my tank top to rest on my skin.

My hands find their way beneath his crisp buttoned shirt, and I feel his hot skin on mine. My fingertips dance along his skin to his back, feeling the scars there, but he doesn't flinch or try to stop me, and I hear a faint groan in the back of his throat. I feel the slightest whisper of his tail against my fingers as it's tucked beneath his shirt. My head is spinning with the way he's touching me, his hands inching further up my back, and coming to rest underneath the strap of my bra.

I feel his heart pounding in his strong chest as my hands slide over his shirt now, and move to his neck. I bury my fingers in his dark curls. The last time we kissed so intimately, I was terrified out of my mind for feeling anything—terrified of wanting him and hating myself for it. But, oh, how I want him right now, and I'm not ashamed.

I wrap my arms around his neck and press my body into his as we continue to kiss. I feel as though the last piece of an unfinished puzzle has finally slid into place.

His hands grip me tighter beneath my shirt as he holds me to him, and he backs me up the few inches to the wall beside the window, leaning into me. His hands come back around to my sides, pulling at my waist. I love the sensation of his body on mine, warm hands against my bare skin, and I suck in a breath.

Cardan breaks off the kiss just then and looks into my eyes. We stare at each other, both trying to catch our breath. I can see he wants to say something, and it takes us a moment to come down off the high of what we just did before either of us can speak. He rests his forehead against mine, eyes closed and a slight grin appearing on his lips. It takes everything in me not to grab him and kiss him again.

But just then he opens his eyes to look at me. "I believe, Your Majesty—" He says with a smile, dropping a feather-light kiss back onto my lips. "—that we may have just come to an agreement." He finishes.

I close my eyes and grin like a fool. His arms come around to secure me against his body, pulling both of us away from the wall just a bit. "Well, you still haven't answered my question." I look up at him and can't help but smile. "But I can agree that we have."

He smiles down at me, then takes a breath.

"Well, to—"

I put my hand over his mouth, not wanting to hear all about my inferior human status, and risk ruining this moment. I feel his breath on my hand.

He pulls my fingers away. "I was going to say—" he grins. "—yes, you're human, yes you're mortal. But you are not weak. Not nothing." He pauses, then adds softly, "Not to me."

My eyes sting, and I hope he can't see the emotion on my face. Where did this version of him even come from? This is not the Cardan I know. It's true he knows how to deliver a compliment, and he is very clever with his words, but this is a side of him I am in awe of.

I try not to blink, but my body betrays me and I feel a stray tear race down my cheek. He wipes it away with his thumb, then his hand slides down to rest against the side of my neck, and his fingertips begin to play with my hair.

"What?" He asks when I don't say anything. I'm just gaping at him. "Tell me what you're thinking."

He's got to stop touching me like this, or else this conversation might be over. "How are you so positive this is a good idea? You know I'm a good liar. How can you trust anything I say or do right now?"

His forehead creases slightly as he looks at me with an intense expression.

"This whole trust thing has to start somewhere, and I've decided it's with me." He answers simply. "And also, because I know you want to trust me too."

I grin. "Oh? What makes you so sure?"

He smiles wickedly at me. "Because you haven't threatened to hurt me every time I try to get close and touch you." He says, pulling me against him again.

My breath catches in my throat and I swallow. He's right. I'm completely comfortable with him right now, and a realization settles over me.

"Admit it. You've wanted to be my friend all along, but you've held back. Why?" He asks in that quiet, smooth voice I'm finding hard to ignore.

Why? How do I explain to him that my trust issues have mostly to do with myself, and little to do with him? More importantly, how do I explain anything without giving away how much and for how long I've wanted to be close to him?

"Cardan." Just saying his name makes him grin at me. "The whole time we've known each other I've known you hated me. It never made sense for us to get along, so I just ignored—" I stop before I can say it, and swallow my words before they can slip out.

His grin gets wider. "Jude?" He asks in a teasing tone. "What were you about to say?"

I press my lips together and try to hide the horrified look on my face.

His eyes search mine for a moment. "How about I ask you a different question?"

I nod and let out a breath. Yes. Please take this conversation elsewhere. Please.

"Fine. But first, do you have anything to drink? I think I may be drying up into a desert right now." He winks at me, and now I have the feeling that he's stalling. Which means whatever he's about to ask me, he's nervous about too. Great.

I sigh and take his hand to lead him out of my room and into the kitchen. I sit him down at the table and get to work on getting us something to drink. Glancing out of the window above the sink, I can see the rain pouring down outside.

"What's your question?" I ask him as I pull two glasses out of the cabinet. I walk over to the refrigerator and find a mostly-full bottle of lemonade.

"I'll ask you when you come and sit by me." He answers, a smirk appearing on his lips.

Rolling my eyes, I pour the lemonade and make my way over to him. I take a deep breath, hand him his glass, and take a seat beside him. We turn toward each other and I take a drink.

He leans one elbow on the table and rests his jaw on his closed fist, the fingers of his other hand tapping against his glass of lemonade. He's looking at me intently, and it's making me nervous.

"Think back to when you wanted me to seduce Nicasia for information."

Well, that's not hard considering the situation we had just found ourselves in moments ago. "Okay." I say.

"And instead, we ended up—you know."

I nod, and I look away from him, trying to hide the awkwardness written all over my face.

"Do you remember when we talked about it after, and you told me the reason we both behaved like that was to get it out of our systems? And then you proceeded to tell me you were over it by then?"

I snap my eyes up to look at him. Holy shit, he knows. He knows what I stopped myself from saying. His smirk turns into a bright smile. He has me right where he wants me. He has gotten good at this spy thing while we've been apart.

"My question for you, Jude, is were you telling the truth when you told me that? Was I really out of your system then?" He takes a drink as his eyes never leave mine, and then places his glass on the table, still holding onto it.

I can feel all the blood rush to my face, and hear my heart pounding in my ears. I look down at where he's holding onto his glass of lemonade, and try to not look at his face. But too bad, because I feel his fingers on my chin, nudging it up until I meet his gaze.

He laughs softly. "Come now, tell me."

I decide to gulp down the rest of my lemonade first, then I answer him. "No." I say, staring darts at his eyes.

"No, you won't answer me? Or no, I wasn't out of your system?"

I huff a laugh, and can't help but grin at him while I stand up and go to put my empty glass in the sink. "I'll let you figure that one out."

As I turn on the water and rinse the glass out, I hear Cardan's chair scrape against the floor as he gets up to follow after me.

In a swift move, he places both hands on my shoulders and spins me around to face him, and I let out a yelp, letting the glass tip over in the sink with the water still running.

"Cardan! What—" he grabs my face with his hands and his mouth crashes down on mine. He pulls me against him as we kiss each other desperately, his hands moving down to my waist. He hauls me up onto the edge of the counter in front of the sink, and stands between my legs.

As he's a bit taller than me, my eyes are now level with his, and feeling his body against mine from up here is exhilarating.

He pulls away from me then and looks into my eyes. "So, it seems you lied. Otherwise you would have been disgusted at me instead of walking away just now." He says with a smirk.

I sigh in defeat and rest my forehead against his, closing my eyes. "You're right. I did."

"Why?" He asks softly.

We have to start trusting each other, right? I better start telling the truth, no matter how embarrassing it is for me. "I told you that because I couldn't stand to be rejected by you. It would have been too humiliating."

"Hmm." He says, letting my words sink in. "So you thought to reject me instead?"

I look at him then, shocked at what he was implying. His eyes bore into mine with an intensity I haven't seen for a while. He almost looks disappointed.

"Wait. You felt rejected by me? So you weren't going to tell me we made a huge mistake getting involved with each other like that?"

"No." He says, not even hesitating. "It probably was a bad idea, but I didn't see it like that. I did, however, want to make sure you didn't hate me more for what happened, which is why I approached you about it. But you shut me down so fast I left it alone."

I just stare at him, and feel my face warm under his gaze. Feeling brave, I ask him, "So tell me, was I out of your system?"

He takes a breath. "Not even close." He says, and kisses my forehead.

Just then we hear a car door closing out in the driveway.

"Vivi!" I shriek, and jump down from the counter, scrambling around for where to hide Cardan for the time being.

He crosses his arms over his chest and laughs. "Would you relax? She's expecting me."

I whip around to look at him. "What?"

He puts his hands in his pockets. "She knows I'm here."

My arms drop to my sides. Of course she knows.

"You have a lot more to tell me, don't you?" I ask him.

He walks up to me and puts his arm around my shoulder as we go to wait in the living room for Vivi.

"I do." He kisses the side of my head. "And Jude, I'm going to tell you everything, please just trust me. It's going to take a while to explain."

I nod and take a deep breath as the doorknob turns. "Okay."

And so it begins.

 **END OF CHAPTER 9**

Another long chapter! I've been sitting on this for a whole week—editing, scrapping, and at one point I deleted half the chapter and saved it for later, then started this one over. It's been a rollercoaster.

But I love writing emotion and relationships, so there you go. That's why this one ended up the way it did.

Drop a comment and let me know what you thought! I love reading the feedback on this story.

Thanks for reading! You all are the best and I love you.

And don't worry, the next chapter is on its way!


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